"God the father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son…"
Kneeling in the creaky confessional, I realized that this moment is my favorite moment in all the world. And that those words are the most beautiful I have ever heard.
Confession, for me, is always super uncomfortable. Do you ever kinda get annoyed with yourself 'cause it seems like confess the same stupid stuff each time you go?
Yeah. Me too.
It's tough going to the same priest for the same things each time. It's almost as tough going to a total stranger and wondering a little in the back of your mind what kind of first impression you're giving.
Once, I went to a completely different parish for confession, just because. And the priest there did something that made me suddenly understand the sacrament.
During absolution, instead of holding his hand up in blessing like other priests, he held up his stole, which had a cross on it.
It was a powerful symbol.
The stole is the symbol of priestly authority. They wear it during the celebration of the sacraments… basically any time they are acting in persona Christi.
It's often easy to lose track of the profound and awesome fact that a priest literally becomes Christ during the Mass and confession.
Yeah, that looks like Fr. Jacob up on the altar, that sounds like Fr. Frank in the confessional…. but it's Jesus. Same as the Eucharist looks and tastes like bread… but it's Jesus.
Every time I'm nervous about confession, it's because I think I'm gonna go talk to a priest.
But I'm not, really.
I'm gonna go talk to Jesus.
Jesus! Wrap your head around it, if you can. Literally… Jesus!! The man who wandered the deserts of Israel and who died on the cross is in that confessional, waiting for you to come in, close the door, and talk.
People ask us as Catholics: "Why do you confess your sins to a priest? Why not just tell God you're sorry?"
That's exactly what we do. Christ gave his apostles authority to act in his name, in his person, and they have handed down that authority through the ages. Only God can forgive sins, and in the confessional, during those words of absolution, He is the one forgiving you.
As I write this, we're about halfway through Lent. It's a time of prayer and penitence and drawing closer to God.
How long has it been since your last confession? Might be a good idea to go.
There's nothing to be afraid of – the God who was whipped and beaten and spat on and pierced for you will welcome you with open arms. That's how he died, after all.
How long has it been since last you sat and spoke with your Redeemer, since last you sat and spoke with Christ?
What are some of your best (or worst!) experiences with Confession? Share them below in the comments! And, as always, if you like this post, please share it with others and sign up for free updates at the top right of this page!
I share Maximilian Hart's view on Confession until I get into the confessional with a certain priest. We have 4 priests in our parish and I have experience the sacrament of confession with each of them. Of the 4 there is one priest who is beyond the pale on assuming the role of judge. His booming voice makes people cower in front of him. I tried to explain to him that the Scarament of Confession is more than reciting a laundry list of sins but it should be a cleansing process. I almost broke up laughing when he shouted "What do I have to confess because what I am talking about is not a sin." I tried to tell him to consider the affects he is having on people and there was a torrent of more shouts. I am truely bothered by this priest and his approach to the administration of this scarament but I really don't know what to do. Since there is no indication of who is in the confessional prior to entering, I sometimes avoid entering fearing the worst and this makes me very sad My daughter has stopped going to confession all together because of her experience with this man and that bothers me more than the way I feel about him.
Ugh that does sound difficult to deal with – and to be honest I completely understand where you and your daughter are coming from! There are a few priests that I will avoid going to for the Sacrament. One, for example, would literally read his book during my confession. Granted, it was a theological book (no Danielle Steele or anything), but I never knew if he was actually listening or not!
The Sacrament itself, though, is still a wonderful and beautiful thing and worth going to… even if the priest is hard to deal with. It’s still an opportunity of grace. That being said, it is hard to deal with. Maybe ask around at other parishes nearby (if there are any) and see if any of their priests are good confessors. Alternatively, you could make an appointment for confession or spiritual direction with one of the priests at your parish you are comfortable with.
Just a couple thoughts – best of luck to you and you’ll be in my prayers!
What did the Holy Father say? "[C]elebrating the Sacrament of Reconciliation means being enfolded in a warm embrace: it is the embrace of the Father’s infinite mercy. Let us recall that beautiful, beautiful parable of the son who left his home with the money of his inheritance. He wasted all the money and then, when he had nothing left, he decided to return home, not as a son but as a servant. His heart was filled with so much guilt and shame. The surprise came when he began to speak, to ask for forgiveness, his father did not let him speak, he embraced him, he kissed him, and he began to make merry. But I am telling you: each time we go to confession, God embraces us. God rejoices!"
If this is not the attitude of your priest, forgive him and leave the confessional and find another priest.
Ah great quote! Is that from Pope Francis?
I know a lot of people who are hung up on the fear of having an un-sympathetic or harsh priest hear their confession. Priests are called to their vocations from the same pool of humanity as the rest of us sinners, so it shouldn't surprise us when we encounter a priest in the confessional who may occasionally struggle with impatience or being overly judgmental. We should also remember how difficult it must be for priests to sit in the cramped, hot confessional for hours at a time, listening to people confess the same sins over and over! That said, it can be difficult for us to encounter a harsh priest, especially since many penitents can be in a pretty vulnerable emotional state when they seek the sacrament of Reconciliation. I certainly empathize with that, and have encountered it a handful of times myself. However, the VAST, VAST majority of priests I have encountered in Confession have been so gentle, merciful, and understanding with me that on many occasions I have been brought to tears. It was these priests who Blessed Pope John Paul II wrote beautifully about when he addressed this sacrament in his Holy Thursday Letter to Priests from 2002. First, he wrote of the profound necessity for the human element of this sacrament: " Its appeal is enhanced by the need for personal contact, something that is becoming increasingly scarce in the hectic pace of today's technological society, but which for this very reason is increasingly experienced as a vital need." He then provided a wonderful comparison of the encounter between priest and penitent to the chance meeting between Jesus and Zaccheus in the Gospel of Luke: "Every encounter with someone wanting to go to confession, even when the request is somewhat superficial because it is poorly motivated and prepared, can become, through the surprising grace of God, that “place” near the sycamore tree where Christ looked up at Zacchaeus. How deeply Christ's gaze penetrated the Jericho publican's soul is impossible for us to judge. But we do know that that same gaze looks upon each of our penitents. In the Sacrament of Reconciliation we are agents of a supernatural encounter with laws of its own, an encounter which we have only to respect and facilitate." Most priests are well aware that they are sinners just like us, and that the best way to minister to penitents in this sacrament is to be a good listener, offer some encouragement and gentle advice, and let God's grace do the rest. Let us pray for all priests that they may have the strength to peform this ministry of the "Good Shepherd" with patience, understanding, honesty, and love.
Wow great comment Andy! I agree – most priests I know are incredible confessors. There was one priest (I want to say St. John Vianney but I don’t know) who, when told he was a great confessor, said something along the lines of “I am a good confessor because I am a great sinner.” Very true!
I find it damaging for a girl to go to confession to a man-priest, especialy when it comes to sexual sins.
How does a man feel by going to confession to a girl?
….
I don’t quite understand how the forgiveness of God could be damaging… and personally I would not go to a woman for confession, mainly because Christ instituted a male priesthood.
Being a bit older than some of the readers here, I remember well when the choice for doctors was almost always male. Women went to them, had their babies in front of them, and for the most part lived to tell the tale. I deliberately chose a woman doc during that period, and frankly she was far more uncomfortable than I was! That is probably true with many priests too. The real priests–the good ones–and not looking for titilating details of your sin, but for a way to forgive you via the Sacrament. If you do as this article states, and go, assuming he is a professional, and one who loves God, and the vast majority are, then it should not matter the gender. Also remember that Jesus, while on earth, was not only God but had become, and still is, fully human too. He was a young man when some woman of the streets poured ointment on His feet and publicly washed them. He not only allowed it but encouraged it. He did not say, "go see my Mother" or "arent you getting a bit personal with me?" And yet that very spiritual act could easily have been, and in fact was, viewed very sensually by the Pharisees present. But the woman saw beyond that and so did our Lord Jesus Christ. When you go to confession, as this article beautifully states, it is that same Jesus you are confessing to, no one else. Also remember that there are homosexual priests too, and men face the exact same risk when confessing that women do–it is a vulnerable moment for us all and yet freeing too. We do not let it stop us when going to human counselors, teachers, social workers, or doctors, We should not let gender become an issue during confession either.
I was brought to the Lord in 2007 in a very powerful conversion and I was confirmed in 2008. (I was 52) I had an appointment for a general confession with my pastor. I was covering 34 years. I was terrified, not just of the confession, but of priests, the Church, pretty much everything. The Lord had opened my eyes to what a sinner I was and I felt so unworthy to even be in God's house. Face to face in my pastor's office, I went through my three pages of typed sins. I only covered the major ones. When I finished, I could not look up. My pastor told me that for my penance he wanted me to close my eyes and then he gently took me through a visualization exercise of all my sins being piled up and then Jesus coming and removing them and taking me into His arms. I truly felt cleansed. It was so beautiful and affirming of God's love for me. The words of absolution changed my life that day and every time I go to confession, I fear it and I love it. The words of absolution, to me, are the second most beautiful set of words in the world. The first are, "Body of Christ." The words of Jesus, coming through a priest.
Wow! Incredible story Deb! Thank you so much for sharing!
Can you please give me information on the drawing at the top of the post, the man in confession and Jesus comforting him? Do we know the artist? Thank you!
You know, I don’t actually know the artist. I couldn’t find the name either… although I admit I didn’t do an all-out investigative search. I love the image though, and I’ve prayed with it many times over the years.